I Think I’ve Fallen In Love With Someone Else
It was all i ever wanted. His love admiration and validation. I thought “us” defined “me”. So i could kill to make it work.
One day, i looked into his eyes and i could no longer see the flames that burnt for admiration of me.
He was dull. The smile i fell in love with, came forth no more. The man i used to so dearly love, had become a total stranger to me. I tried so hard to win him back, but with each passing moment the rift between us grew bigger.
I wanted my relationship to be my safe place, my refuge, yet it became the inferno from which i could never escape.
Before i realized it, i got tired. The silence got louder. I began going out as often as i could. I wanted to find solace in anything; a drug, man, girl friends etc.
Finally, i was ready to transform my pain into wisdom , my tears into fuel for change.
So one day i went to church and i met someone. We got talking and grew fond of each other. We spent more time than i could imagine, going out on vacations, on dates . I laughed hard, smiled more and then i started getting the best out of life. This other person saw things i did not even see in my self .
Sooner i realized i no longer felt anything for my partner so i asked for a divorce. I had found happiness somewhere else. It felt so good that it got me addicted to it.
That was how i broke up with my past because i had fallen madly in love with myself.
Self love is the best thing that can ever happen to any human. The bible commands us to love God and our neighbors but can we really give what we don’t have?
If you do not love your self, how can you give out love?
We find ourselves trapped in this supposed images in our head. We think if we don’t look a certain way, belong to a certain class, or sit on a certain table we are not complete.
We feel this void because we think there’s something missing.
You see there’s no standard for beauty. You were created in the image of God, you are his handiwork. His spirit is in you , you are fearfully and wonderfully made .
What kind of validation are you looking for? Nobody is born to validate you except God.
What makes you so insecure?
Did someone make you feel like you are unworthy to be loved?
We say we have no talent. We tell them we don’t fit. We talk ourselves out of tomorrow because we are afraid to let go of today.
You are enough!!!
Never envy anyone because most people are living behind a mask. The girls in the magazines, the celebrity on the stage and the spotlight, do you know what they go through behind closed doors?
If beauty, talent and fame was all that it takes to be whole , why would people like Whitney houston be drug addicts?
The things you see on social media are just a highlight reel of peoples lives.
Do you want to be the kind of person described below?
She just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits
She craves attention, she praises an image
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh, she don’t see the light that’s shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it
Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away
‘Cause cover girls don’t cry after their face is made
Alessia Cara – Scars to Your beautiful
Everything you need is already within you. There’s no better you out there, or someone living a better life than the one you are living. In your own world be the star . Be the lead character in your movie, take the stage of your life and slay it. Love yourself. Fall in love with until you become addicted to you. Only you can make you happy.
Break up with the things that make you feel inadequate. Is it someone’s timeline?then un-follow them. Is it a girl group where everyone acts like they’ve got it all figured out ? Then exit .
Leave the past behind, run from situations that make you feel lost and thirsty for validation.
Make-up, good clothes, money and fame can only give you instant gratification. Self love starts from the inside out. When the soul is broken, no amount of fixations on the body can mend it .
Like beyonce said in pretty hurts
Ain’t no doctor or therapeutic that can take the pain away
The pain’s inside
And nobody frees you from your body
It’s the soul that needs surgery
It’s my soul that needs surgery
Plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far
And you break when the fake facade leaves you in the dark
You left a shattered mirror
And the shards of a beautiful girl
The world needs you, all of you. To be able to add meaning to the world and impact lives, it starts with self love.