There are wounds that don’t appear on the body, but hurt more than anything that bleeds. Emotional abuse, is as bad as physical abuse, if not worse. Just because a person doesn’t put their hands on you, doesn’t mean they are not abusive. Abuse is control, disrespect, internal pain.
Never settle for emotional abuse thinking it’s okay just because it’s not physical. If you are afraid of your partner when they’re angry, if you’re afraid of how they’ll react if you disrespect them.
If you’re afraid of what their response or reaction will be to you doing something or showing an interest in something, you’re already experiencing this.
Sometimes we want to be loved so badly, that we can’t even tell that it’s not love. And if the wounds on people’s heart and the bruises on the soul were translated onto their skin, we wouldn’t even recognize them. Being alone may scare you, but being in a bad relationship will scar you.
You don’t let go of a bad relationship because you stop caring about them, you let go because you started caring about yourself. It’s better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than have someone else break your heart everyday while you stay with them.
And remember, the problem is that we want to be loved to be loved so badly, that we can’t even tell that it’s not really love.
Understanding the traits of an Abusive partner
Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with his anger; he has a problem with your anger.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone.
When your anger does jump out of you as will happen to any abused woman from time to time. He is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can then he uses you anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed.
You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.
Whenever abusers go on the attack, it’s not because someone has done something to them, it’s because someone has told them “No”.
If you refuse to play along with their dramas, you’ve said “No” to being controlled by them. if you speak the truth you’ve said ‘’no’’ to their lies. If you get on with your life you’ve said “No” to validating the sick way they choose to do things.
Abusers have no boundaries. They feel entitled to say whatever they feel is true, and litter their opinions, whether it’s rude, hurtful, or not true at all. They will then get angry when you defend yourself and blame you for causing drama.