I have fallen in love with my best friend, but how do I tell him?
We’ve come too far and have grown so close. Right now, he owns too much of me; I’m weak when it comes to him.
But I know him too well. He doesn’t do relationships or girlfriends. He makes out with who he wants, how he wants and lets no one hold him down.
I cannot afford to be one of his girls, and with him that’s all I’ll ever be.
Yet I love him and I so want to tell him. My mind is at war with my heart. I can’t separate the man he is, with the man I want him to be.
We are on his balcony. The blood in my veins turns icy as I stare into the dark eyes of the friend I love.
Whenever my feelings wander, I try my best to tamp them down. He is breaking me though. One by one I can feel my defenses crumbling.
He’s dark, not so tall, but enough for me to stand on my toes each time to plant a kiss on his lips.
Whenever he smiles, I have to hold my heart in, he’s so handsome.
His aura strips me enough to let his words travel on my bare soul.
Taking a deep breath, I look into his eyes, taking in the lush lashes that frame them, trying to curve out a way to finally tell him I need more than this.
I want to be his girl .
But I still can’t find the right words. And I’m getting scared.
His eyes bore into mine and before I can think, my back is plastered against the wall and my legs wrapped around him. His hot lips press against my soft lips .
Mother nature pouring down her tears on us, the moon smiling at us as though our collision gives her the strength to shine. After a long exotic ride, we say a prayer inviting God and the heavenly bodies into our little party .
With an all consuming confidence, he smiles at me. He knows he just gave me the best night of my life.
It is magical.
But I want to be more than sexual benefits and a once in a while explicit pleasure.
My emotions are all over the place, and I know if I don’t do this right now, I’ll regret it.
So with all the energy in my bones, breaking down my walls, sweating out my fears, I muster the words “I love you” “I want to be your girl, not just your best friend.”
As I stop talking, the silence that engulfs us becomes so loud that I can hear my breathe pacing against the walls.
Finally, no sound comes from the other end and that was how I lose my friend, my crush and the man I love.
My whole world crumbles and I become a casualty of love.