The Road To My Heart
The way to my heart is stiff, narrow and contains road blocks. I’m trapped in my own walls and I’m so comfortable being shut down.
To get to my heart darling, you have to be ready to get bruised. Walking through the thorns that have grown along the way to my heart is going to hurt.
You are going to be wounded.
Breaking down my walls, that’s only if you make it to entrance, won’t be an easy task .
I hear people say things like , I want the road the to your heart. But how I can even give you my road map, when I can’t even feel my heart.
Talkless these days, I don’t even know whether I have a heart or not.
I’ve been numb for so long than I can remember. I don’t know what it means to feel. My experiences have shut down my abilities to serve emotions.
Love, hate, all these things are not for me. My heart has been shattered more times than it has been fixed. Broken and wiped out , I can’t even begin to trace the pieces.
I’m empty. I feel so dark, yet I want someone to shine their light on me.
I know broken hearts can find new pieces and sew themselves back together .
Healing is a process, not many are willing to undertake. I’m not even ready for that kind of journey. I think I’m already so comfortable being closed.
Although in my dreams, I want someone to crawl through the gravel, the thorns for me. I need someone fight the devils that are guarding my heart.
My strenght is weak and I also have in every way given up on me. And my ability to live again.
But still, I want to feel. I want to live, to love, to dream, to breath and most importantly I want to be free.
Free form myself. Free from my self inflicted wounds and unforgettable scars. Free from my past that has kept my in lock down.
I want to stop feeding my insecurities and letting my fears take the stage of my life.
Hence, although there’s all these blockages along the road to my heart, if you determined and resilient enough you will make it darling.
And if you finally make it to my heart, You can do with it as you please .
My heart will always be yours. And will forever be indebted to you.
I think my heart is still alive, but all it does it pump blood into my system .