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How It Feels To Sleep With Someone Close To Me

And I wake up in a cold sweat with my heart beating fast reach for my phone and it’s 3:03. And! think fora moment because it’s been a long time since the ghost of your past came to meet me this late. And it’s like every time I’m about to move on, you always meet me somewhere between healed and what I’ll never be able to forget.

And I wish you’d just leave me alone. But all it is, is a memory and closure I never got and explanations that wouldn’t change anything now so why is it still keeping me up this late at night? I turn to an empty bed and I’ve finally started forgetting what it felt like to sleep with someone next to me.

They say dreams are simply a figment of our subconscious being that it doesn’t mean a thing. But Disney wrote about dreams being wishes and for some reason I believe that more.

And I think back to what couldn’t have been longer than a minute or two. And I walked into my parents house and there you were standing like you had so many times before.

You were someone I always loved coming home to. And we looked for a moment at each other and silence consumed us. And I was the first to speak, “we need to talk now,” then I woke up.

I wonder if it means anything or how long it’s going to take me to fall back to sleep. And I hate that we met this late at night again because every time I feel like I’ve rid myself of you, even in your absence something always reminds me you’re never that far.

And an honest heart’s wishes will always be for understanding why you had to go so soon and what was the real reason. I hate that, that’s you are where my mind wanders this late at night. I hate that when I’ve had too much to drink and vision is a little blurry and words are slurred talking to my friends what comes out is honesty I hate admitting, the same that has met me here at 3AM.

I remember closing down the bar by my house with my friend, “I would have married him without hesitation or doubt.” And I go home only to drunk dial my best guy friend. I don’t even say hello and he knows I’ve been drinking, “I still love him,” and tears start to fall and he simply listens. “I know you do.” And he stays on the phone until I finally stop talking not even saying goodbye just to fall asleep and dream of explanations I never got and closure i long for.

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